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Author Topic: Dear Congress...I need a bail out  (Read 713 times)

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deBauchTopic starter

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Dear Congress...I need a bail out
« on: December 06, 2008, 03:40:19 AM »

I'm on my last legs here, on the verge off collapse.  Its not just a matter if "deBauch" goes down but think of the bigger ramifications.  The whole country loses the mark "deBauch"...a once great stoner that made this country great.  Also, if I go under it won't just be me.  What about all of my suppliers, people who's living depends upon me.  What I hoover up my nose probably accounts for 2.5% of this country's GDP.

All I need is $25 billion...no hang on...I've just had my accountant Yitzak on the phone from Lagos...its now $34 billion, I forgot my drug bill.

I fucked up the last time that I asked you for a bail out...typing out my request on a Hewlett Packard ZZ5000 triple interion 25 inch widescreen whilst sat in an inflatable chair in a swimming pool in Dubai...I now type this request out on a shitty old Dell laptop sporting Windows '98 from a multi story carpark in Aberystwyth.

Dear Nancy....don't turn me down on my bail out request...I'll get my good friend and erstwhile sports memorabilia collector friend OJ to go down on your furry clap trap for 15 years...10 with good behaviour, its not like he's got a lot else on  :wheelchair:



Anyone else got a bail out request...they're all the rage these days   :whig:
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princess of pt

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Re: Dear Congress...I need a bail out
« Reply #1 on: December 06, 2008, 05:52:46 AM »

my bailout request involves telling fucking wall street and the big three to go suck a cock and instead of dispensing 700+BILLION to them, dispersing about 250k to every man woman and child in America. that'll jump start the economy like nobodies business god damnit!  :vc:
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Angelica

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Re: Dear Congress...I need a bail out
« Reply #2 on: December 06, 2008, 07:12:42 AM »

my bailout request involves telling fucking wall street and the big three to go suck a cock and instead of dispensing 700+BILLION to them, dispersing about 250k to every man woman and child in America. that'll jump start the economy like nobodies business god damnit!  :vc:
Too logical, won't work...we need to give help to the people who put us in this perdicament, otherwise we would be helping the taxpayer...err...wait, isn't that the ultimate goal?
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Persephone

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Re: Dear Congress...I need a bail out
« Reply #3 on: December 06, 2008, 01:07:21 PM »

Too logical, won't work...we need to give help to the people who put us in this perdicament, otherwise we would be helping the taxpayer...err...wait, isn't that the ultimate goal?

You're so silly. The ultimate goal is for the taxpayer to help the government. :hammer:
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princess of pt

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Re: Dear Congress...I need a bail out
« Reply #4 on: December 06, 2008, 05:24:40 PM »

why do i get this strange feeling that randolph and mortimer are going to exchange a dollar, when this is all said and done?
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Fipronila

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Re: Dear Congress...I need a bail out
« Reply #5 on: December 06, 2008, 08:46:17 PM »

OOOOH! I need a bail out too!

I'm not in debt but I REALLY want a fucking house for my kids because apartments suck bologne ring.

That is all.
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Persephone

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Re: Dear Congress...I need a bail out
« Reply #6 on: December 07, 2008, 04:17:33 PM »

I'd like to be bailed out too. For no other reason than I don't feel like working so hard anymore.

That'll be all.
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And I'll dance with you in Vienna, I'll be wearing a river's disguise. The hyacinth wild on my shoulder, my mouth on the dew of your thighs. And I'll bury my soul in a scrapbook, with the photographs there, and the moths and I'll yield to the flood of your beauty my cheap violin and my cross.
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