dunk

ThirdRailForum

  • November 17, 2017, 09:24:35 PM
  • Welcome, Guest
Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  

News:

Pages: [1] 2 3  All   Go Down

Author Topic: Personal...grooming  (Read 2640 times)

plus minus reset
0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

PersephoneTopic starter

  • Turboslut
  • Legatus
  • *
  • Reputation Power: 33
  • Persephone makes good points.Persephone makes good points.Persephone makes good points.Persephone makes good points.Persephone makes good points.Persephone makes good points.Persephone makes good points.Persephone makes good points.Persephone makes good points.
  • Posts: 2626
  • Gender: Female
  • Location: New York
  • Awards: 100+ Reply Thread - The Death Penalty
  • Sex and Candy
Personal...grooming
« on: January 02, 2009, 08:12:28 AM »

Something that's been on my mind. I know it's a matter of personal choice, but these days I'm fairly sure that most women are diligent about keeping things...well...tidy in that area. But what about the men? You guys expect us to keep things under control, but really, there's nothing less appealing than Balls Gone Wild.

Discuss. ::)
Logged


And I'll dance with you in Vienna, I'll be wearing a river's disguise. The hyacinth wild on my shoulder, my mouth on the dew of your thighs. And I'll bury my soul in a scrapbook, with the photographs there, and the moths and I'll yield to the flood of your beauty my cheap violin and my cross.

deBauch

  • Textual Interahamwe
  • Dictator
  • *
  • Reputation Power: 79
  • deBauch has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.deBauch has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.deBauch has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.deBauch has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.deBauch has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.deBauch has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.deBauch has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.deBauch has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.deBauch has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.deBauch has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.deBauch has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.deBauch has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.deBauch has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.deBauch has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.deBauch has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.deBauch has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.deBauch has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.
  • Posts: 5219
  • Gender: Male
  • Location: E Wing
  • Awards: 100+ Reply Thread - Eddie Snowden trolls..100+ Reply Thread - Syria....100+ Reply Thread - Frack You100+ Reply Thread -The New York mosque thing100+ Reply Thread - Afghanistan
  • Dyslexics Against Fishism
Re: Personal...grooming
« Reply #1 on: January 02, 2009, 11:04:58 AM »

I've been giving Ben and Bob the once over with my Mach III for years, the fucking problem now is that I HAVE NO CHOICE because once you start doing that shit and leave it you grow a rainforest that the Vietcong would struggle thru.

I'm also a seasoned professional at skinning beaver like Davy Crockett, I even used to do the beavers of girls who had been running late for work at a table top dancing club that I once Dj/MC'd at...as long as I live I will never have a better job  :no:
Logged

Quote from: Marquis deBlois after reading his death sentence before being guilloteened
"You made three spelling mistakes"

PersephoneTopic starter

  • Turboslut
  • Legatus
  • *
  • Reputation Power: 33
  • Persephone makes good points.Persephone makes good points.Persephone makes good points.Persephone makes good points.Persephone makes good points.Persephone makes good points.Persephone makes good points.Persephone makes good points.Persephone makes good points.
  • Posts: 2626
  • Gender: Female
  • Location: New York
  • Awards: 100+ Reply Thread - The Death Penalty
  • Sex and Candy
Re: Personal...grooming
« Reply #2 on: January 02, 2009, 11:27:33 AM »

So okay, I didn't need to know all that. ::)
Logged
And I'll dance with you in Vienna, I'll be wearing a river's disguise. The hyacinth wild on my shoulder, my mouth on the dew of your thighs. And I'll bury my soul in a scrapbook, with the photographs there, and the moths and I'll yield to the flood of your beauty my cheap violin and my cross.

deBauch

  • Textual Interahamwe
  • Dictator
  • *
  • Reputation Power: 79
  • deBauch has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.deBauch has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.deBauch has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.deBauch has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.deBauch has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.deBauch has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.deBauch has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.deBauch has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.deBauch has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.deBauch has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.deBauch has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.deBauch has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.deBauch has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.deBauch has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.deBauch has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.deBauch has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.deBauch has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.
  • Posts: 5219
  • Gender: Male
  • Location: E Wing
  • Awards: 100+ Reply Thread - Eddie Snowden trolls..100+ Reply Thread - Syria....100+ Reply Thread - Frack You100+ Reply Thread -The New York mosque thing100+ Reply Thread - Afghanistan
  • Dyslexics Against Fishism
Re: Personal...grooming
« Reply #3 on: January 02, 2009, 12:06:42 PM »

So okay, I didn't need to know all that. ::)


Yeah but you now know where to come if you need a good Black & Decker strimming  :snack:
Logged

Quote from: Marquis deBlois after reading his death sentence before being guilloteened
"You made three spelling mistakes"

THE BRA1N

  • Menace to Piety
  • Augustus
  • *
  • Reputation Power: 390
  • THE BRA1N has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.THE BRA1N has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.THE BRA1N has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.THE BRA1N has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.THE BRA1N has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.THE BRA1N has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.THE BRA1N has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.THE BRA1N has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.THE BRA1N has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.THE BRA1N has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.THE BRA1N has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.THE BRA1N has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.THE BRA1N has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.THE BRA1N has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.THE BRA1N has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.THE BRA1N has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.THE BRA1N has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.
  • Posts: 14093
  • Gender: Male
  • Fan of: Robert Mueller
  • Awards: 500 Replies - Eisbaer the drifter..300 Replies - Eisbaer the drifter..200 Replies - Eisbaer the drifter..100 Replies - Eisbaer the drifter..100 Replies - My Field Trip to Flame Truth100 Replies - Countdown to Fleas Ban Expiration200 Replies - So what did I miss100 Replies - So what did I miss100 Replies - An ultimatum from Sting2016 Fantasy Football Champ100 Replies - Anyone else miss V-Agent?100 Replies - Lets Get Mr.Pickles Hyped to Post Again100 Replies - ATTN: Mini/NA300 Replies - Jan 1 is Use Your..200 Replies - Jan 1 is Use Your..100 Replies - Jan 1 is Use Your..100 Replies - Dullard of the Year Final - Goats vs Sting100 Replies - Forum Dullard Poll, The Finals100 Replies - TR Forum Dullard Poll100 Reply Thread -  	TRF MVP Poster Ratings - March100 Reply Thread - Caskur PM Dump Thread100 Reply Thread - Is Cookie a Potential Serial Killer?100 Reply Thread -Lets Have Lunch100 Reply Thread - Posters youd like to hear from..200 Reply Thread - Another war is..100 Reply Thread - Another war..200+ Reply Thread - Happy New Year100+ Reply Thread - Happy New Year100+ Reply Thread - Im Going to London2010 World Cup Picks Winner2012 NFL Picks Champ100+ Reply Thread - Question: Should Prostitution be Legalized?100+ Reply Thread - Heres what the right wing rhetoric does to people
Re: Personal...grooming
« Reply #4 on: January 02, 2009, 02:50:23 PM »

I've been giving Ben and Bob the once over with my Mach III for years, the fucking problem now is that I HAVE NO CHOICE because once you start doing that shit and leave it you grow a rainforest that the Vietcong would struggle thru.

That makes me shudder. Dude, i dont want to see a Mach III anywhere near my privates. That doesnt mean i dont keep myself properly groomed but i have too much respect for Murphy's Law to introduce a triple blade near the airspace of my dink. I hope you dont live in an earthquake zone.
Logged
Symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder
  • Grandiosity with expectations of superior treatment from others
  • Fixated on fantasies of power, success, intelligence, attractiveness, etc.
  • Self-perception of being unique, superior and associated with high-status people and institutions
  • Needing constant admiration from others
  • Sense of entitlement to special treatment and to obedience from others
  • Exploitative of others to achieve personal gain
  • Unwilling to empathize with others' feelings, wishes, or needs
  • Intensely envious of others and the belief that others are equally envious of them
  • Pompous and arrogant demeanor

deBauch

  • Textual Interahamwe
  • Dictator
  • *
  • Reputation Power: 79
  • deBauch has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.deBauch has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.deBauch has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.deBauch has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.deBauch has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.deBauch has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.deBauch has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.deBauch has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.deBauch has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.deBauch has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.deBauch has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.deBauch has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.deBauch has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.deBauch has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.deBauch has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.deBauch has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.deBauch has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.
  • Posts: 5219
  • Gender: Male
  • Location: E Wing
  • Awards: 100+ Reply Thread - Eddie Snowden trolls..100+ Reply Thread - Syria....100+ Reply Thread - Frack You100+ Reply Thread -The New York mosque thing100+ Reply Thread - Afghanistan
  • Dyslexics Against Fishism
Re: Personal...grooming
« Reply #5 on: January 02, 2009, 06:14:33 PM »

That makes me shudder. Dude, i dont want to see a Mach III anywhere near my privates. That doesnt mean i dont keep myself properly groomed but i have too much respect for Murphy's Law to introduce a triple blade near the airspace of my dink. I hope you dont live in an earthquake zone.


 :grin:  over ten years and not one single nick and being 6'3" its a fair old way down there. 

The way that I look at it is...if I was a women, would I want hairy bollocks in my mouth  :no:

Anyway, great thread  :confused:
Logged

Quote from: Marquis deBlois after reading his death sentence before being guilloteened
"You made three spelling mistakes"

The Scoundrel

  • Lover, Hero, Good Guy
  • Emperor
  • *
  • Reputation Power: 133
  • The Scoundrel has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.The Scoundrel has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.The Scoundrel has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.The Scoundrel has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.The Scoundrel has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.The Scoundrel has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.The Scoundrel has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.The Scoundrel has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.The Scoundrel has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.The Scoundrel has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.The Scoundrel has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.The Scoundrel has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.The Scoundrel has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.The Scoundrel has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.The Scoundrel has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.The Scoundrel has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.The Scoundrel has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.
  • Posts: 9077
  • Gender: Male
  • Location: Exiting stage left persued by a Bear
  • Fan of: Liverpool FC, Healthy food, Free Healthcare
  • Awards: 100 Reply Thread - The reg rep fuck up100 Reply Thread - As Usual. Rumours are rumours200 Reply Thread - Flamersaurus Rex100 Reply Thread - Flamersaurus Rex300 Reply Thread - Its 2014 guys200 Reply Thread - Its 2014 guys100 Reply Thread - Its 2014 guysWin - 4 x 4 Challenge match100 Reply Thread - Vicky dearest100 Reply Thread - Callout. Caskur and Serafina100+ Reply Thread - Put up Yer Dukes100+ Reply Thread - If your childs name was on ..
  • Breaking the hearts of spammers since 2000
Re: Personal...grooming
« Reply #6 on: January 02, 2009, 06:24:58 PM »

I think guys who shave thier nether regions look kinda wierd. Last chicken in the butchers shop window it looks like to me  :grin: Mine gets the same tretment as my head, no3 guard on my Nicky Clarke clippers. It's like wearing a suit matching head and tail. very smart.

Ladies need to be keeping themselves well shaved though in the pubic area. Much more attractive. Hubba Hubba!!
Logged
Quote
Our country will, I believe, sooner forgive an officer for attacking an enemy than for letting it alone

That, of course, depends on who you ask around here.

"Oh where will the homeless go when the bridges no longer have room for humanity?"

THE BRA1N

  • Menace to Piety
  • Augustus
  • *
  • Reputation Power: 390
  • THE BRA1N has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.THE BRA1N has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.THE BRA1N has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.THE BRA1N has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.THE BRA1N has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.THE BRA1N has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.THE BRA1N has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.THE BRA1N has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.THE BRA1N has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.THE BRA1N has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.THE BRA1N has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.THE BRA1N has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.THE BRA1N has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.THE BRA1N has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.THE BRA1N has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.THE BRA1N has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.THE BRA1N has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.
  • Posts: 14093
  • Gender: Male
  • Fan of: Robert Mueller
  • Awards: 500 Replies - Eisbaer the drifter..300 Replies - Eisbaer the drifter..200 Replies - Eisbaer the drifter..100 Replies - Eisbaer the drifter..100 Replies - My Field Trip to Flame Truth100 Replies - Countdown to Fleas Ban Expiration200 Replies - So what did I miss100 Replies - So what did I miss100 Replies - An ultimatum from Sting2016 Fantasy Football Champ100 Replies - Anyone else miss V-Agent?100 Replies - Lets Get Mr.Pickles Hyped to Post Again100 Replies - ATTN: Mini/NA300 Replies - Jan 1 is Use Your..200 Replies - Jan 1 is Use Your..100 Replies - Jan 1 is Use Your..100 Replies - Dullard of the Year Final - Goats vs Sting100 Replies - Forum Dullard Poll, The Finals100 Replies - TR Forum Dullard Poll100 Reply Thread -  	TRF MVP Poster Ratings - March100 Reply Thread - Caskur PM Dump Thread100 Reply Thread - Is Cookie a Potential Serial Killer?100 Reply Thread -Lets Have Lunch100 Reply Thread - Posters youd like to hear from..200 Reply Thread - Another war is..100 Reply Thread - Another war..200+ Reply Thread - Happy New Year100+ Reply Thread - Happy New Year100+ Reply Thread - Im Going to London2010 World Cup Picks Winner2012 NFL Picks Champ100+ Reply Thread - Question: Should Prostitution be Legalized?100+ Reply Thread - Heres what the right wing rhetoric does to people
Re: Personal...grooming
« Reply #7 on: January 02, 2009, 06:37:36 PM »


 :grin:  over ten years and not one single nick and being 6'3" its a fair old way down there. 

The way that I look at it is...if I was a women, would I want hairy bollocks in my mouth  :no:

Anyway, great thread  :confused:

It would be better if some ladies weighed in with what they prefer. I once dated a girl who emphatically told me she liked lots of hair down there. She didn't beat around the bush and pretty much told me to let it grow a la Capt Caveman.

She's been the only one who told me that though. The others i've been with either like my nether regions to be well groomed like my head or never said anything about it. So how bout it, ladies? What's the good word?
Logged
Symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder
  • Grandiosity with expectations of superior treatment from others
  • Fixated on fantasies of power, success, intelligence, attractiveness, etc.
  • Self-perception of being unique, superior and associated with high-status people and institutions
  • Needing constant admiration from others
  • Sense of entitlement to special treatment and to obedience from others
  • Exploitative of others to achieve personal gain
  • Unwilling to empathize with others' feelings, wishes, or needs
  • Intensely envious of others and the belief that others are equally envious of them
  • Pompous and arrogant demeanor

Angelica

  • Imperator
  • *
  • Reputation Power: 66
  • Angelica has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.Angelica has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.Angelica has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.Angelica has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.Angelica has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.Angelica has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.Angelica has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.Angelica has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.Angelica has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.Angelica has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.Angelica has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.Angelica has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.Angelica has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.Angelica has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.Angelica has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.Angelica has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.Angelica has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.
  • Posts: 3261
  • Gender: Female
  • Location: The Great State of New Jersey
  • Awards: 2009 Death Pool Winner100+ Reply Thread - Obama Inaugaration
Re: Personal...grooming
« Reply #8 on: January 02, 2009, 07:56:52 PM »

I prefer a well groomed area, not only on myself, but my partner also. 

Really...who likes to be spitting out pubic hairs during sex?     ::)
Logged
"I'll believe that corporations are people when the State of Texas executes one." - Bill Moyers

RizenPhoeniz

  • Quaestor
  • *
  • Reputation Power: 1
  • RizenPhoeniz probably just rolled in here.
  • Posts: 194
  • Gender: Male
  • Location: Cloud 9
  • Relentless, Focused, Determined
Re: Personal...grooming
« Reply #9 on: January 02, 2009, 08:08:00 PM »

I prefer a well groomed area, not only on myself, but my partner also. 

Really...who likes to be spitting out pubic hairs during sex?     ::)


I use a beard trimmer with the guard on the lowest(shortest) setting. It's like a putting green, short and uniform.
Logged

PersephoneTopic starter

  • Turboslut
  • Legatus
  • *
  • Reputation Power: 33
  • Persephone makes good points.Persephone makes good points.Persephone makes good points.Persephone makes good points.Persephone makes good points.Persephone makes good points.Persephone makes good points.Persephone makes good points.Persephone makes good points.
  • Posts: 2626
  • Gender: Female
  • Location: New York
  • Awards: 100+ Reply Thread - The Death Penalty
  • Sex and Candy
Re: Personal...grooming
« Reply #10 on: January 03, 2009, 09:40:33 AM »

I agree with Angelica 100%.  The whole spitting out hairs thing is what I can't stand. It's distracting. You don't have to totally shave, but keep it closely clipped guys.
Logged
And I'll dance with you in Vienna, I'll be wearing a river's disguise. The hyacinth wild on my shoulder, my mouth on the dew of your thighs. And I'll bury my soul in a scrapbook, with the photographs there, and the moths and I'll yield to the flood of your beauty my cheap violin and my cross.

Cookie Monster

  • Champion Flamer
  • Augustus
  • *
  • Reputation Power: 216
  • Cookie Monster has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.Cookie Monster has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.Cookie Monster has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.Cookie Monster has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.Cookie Monster has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.Cookie Monster has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.Cookie Monster has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.Cookie Monster has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.Cookie Monster has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.Cookie Monster has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.Cookie Monster has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.Cookie Monster has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.Cookie Monster has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.Cookie Monster has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.Cookie Monster has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.Cookie Monster has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.Cookie Monster has a place in the TRF Hall of Fame.
  • Posts: 11310
  • Awards: 200 Replies - Hurricane Irma gonna kill fags100 Replies - Hurricane Irma gonna kill fags100 Replies - Question for the Mods ref alts100 Replies - Not that I am one to spread malicious gossip..100 Replies - So why is flea banned?100 Replies - 1,2,3,4 I declare a meme war100 Replies - To be blunt100 Replies - I have retired the Pufferfish100 Reply Thread - What occured at The Furnace100 Reply Thread - Gentlemen, I'm going to be needing your cock measurements100 Reply Thread - RIP Casker100 Reply Thread - any chance of unbanning flea?300 Reply Thread - Vixens panel abuse200 Reply Thread - Vixens panel abuse100 Reply Thread - Vixens panel abuse100 Reply Thread - CO has been hackedTraffic Magnet Award - Most Online Ever: 374300+ Reply Thread - tHE official CAcker art thread200+ Reply Thread - tHE official CAcker art thread100+ Reply Thread - tHE official CAcker art thread100+ Reply Thread - attention useless fucktards100+ Reply Thread - Is it legal?
Re: Personal...grooming
« Reply #11 on: January 03, 2009, 08:06:03 PM »

No.
Logged

Deviouz1

  • Governor
  • *
  • Reputation Power: 16
  • Deviouz1 yearns for more subjective praise.Deviouz1 yearns for more subjective praise.Deviouz1 yearns for more subjective praise.Deviouz1 yearns for more subjective praise.Deviouz1 yearns for more subjective praise.
  • Posts: 643
  • Gender: Male
Re: Personal...grooming
« Reply #12 on: January 04, 2009, 10:16:50 PM »

after reading this thread only one thing comes to mind.

Quote
Don't Shave That Hair!!! I have recently made a mistake in my life, and I offer my story to you, that you may learn from my error. It all started, as many things do, with me having trouble shitting.

No, I was not constipated; this was not a regularity problem but a matter of technique. It seems my ass-hair had grown to such a length that tiny grogans were constantly getting tied up in the matted jungle between my asscheeks. It led to much frustration, with me KNOWING that I still had something to drop, but unable to shake the tenacious turd loose from its butthair dwelling. Eventually I would have to do two things: either reach down with some paper and try to pinch off the lingering loaf (which required careful precision to avoid smearing the creature all over my rear, especially since I had no way of seeing what I was doing) or just go for broke, start wiping, and hope that I could remove all the leftover fecal matter before the toilet paper reached its Can't-Be-Flushed threshold.

I was contemplating this problem, when I had what seemed at the time to be a bright idea. "Hey! This is my butt and my butt-hair, right? So why don't I just eliminate all the hair, and then my grogans will flow out like beer from a keg!" I said to myself. It is a statement that will go down in history with a lot of other regretted statements. "How many Indians could there be?" said by General Custer. "Looks like a good day for a drive!" by JFK. "There! America On-Line now has complete Usenet access!" by some idiot system tech. Such was my anal shaving idea.

I performed the operation that night, with a cheap disposable razor and a towel to sit on. Starting from the bottom, and shaving from the crack to the cheeks, I began the arduous process of ridding my ass of hair. Occassionally, I would have to clean the razor of accumulated hair and miscellaneous slime, which I did by wiping it on the towel. Slowly, my twin mounds and the between-ravine began to resemble the hairless cheeks of a newborn baby. Finally, I wiped the razor one last time, and surveyed my work. The towel was covered with a pile of hair. My ass was smooth as ivory. I smiled, satisfied, thinking my troubles were over.

Little did I know.

I now have a great respect for anal-hair. Like everything in this world God created, it has its mighty purpose in existence. It was only after I had removed it that I started to learn how much I had been taking it for granted. For one, it provides friction. I learned this the next day, when I walked out into the sun heading for class. After climbing two flights of stairs and starting to sweat, I started to notice something unpleasant. The sweat was accumulating in my crack, and was causing the unpleasant sensation of my two asscheeks sliding past each other with every step. I thought about going to the bathroom and wiping it off, but had to get to class. Eventually, I thought, it would dry.

Unfortunately, it did dry, but only after mingling with the microscopic shit- molecules lingering around my brown starfish. When I stood up after class, my cheeks were stuck together with a slimy sticky shit/sweat combination. As I made my way back to my dorm, it started to itch. God-DAMN, did it itch! Felt like a swarm of ants was making its way up and down my crack. Fighting to keep from jamming my hand down there and scratching away, I rushed back to the dorm.

Unfortunately again, this exertion caused me to sweat, and when I finally reached my room, my cheeks were sliding back and forth against each other like a pair of horny cane-toads. I quickly dropped my pants, and attempted to dry my ass off by sticking it in front of a fan and spreading my cheeks. As I pulled the two mounds of flesh apart, a horrible stench burst free and filled the room. Every dog within a 4 block radius started to howl. I had it worst of all, as the ripe aroma of festering shit/sweat went into the fan and blew back into my face. I fought to keep from heaving. And as I sat there, fighting vomit, my ass cheeks spread and dripping, with the concentrated aroma of my body odor mixed with the tangy smell of my own shit blowing right into my face, I had only one thought: "It will be like this until the hair grows back. Weeks."

Later on, trying to deal as best I could, wiping my ass at every opportunity, I discovered another wonderful use for ass-hair - ventilation. I attempted to launch a fart, only to have it get stuck between my asscheeks. Apparently, with no hair, the two pink twins can get vacuum sealed together, and the result was a frustrating fart that slid up and down between my cheeks like a lost gerbil.

As if that wasn't enough, I am now enduring further torture. As anyone who has ever shaved anything knows, when hair is first growing in, it comes in as stubble. Imagine your ass having the texture of a brillo pad. Well, that is what I am dealing with now. It is a hellish torture, and there are many times when I just look out the window and contemplate why I shouldn't just jump out and get it all over with in one fleshy splat, rather than endure this constant agony.

ill be leaving my short and curlies right where they are thank you.
Logged
"History, I believe, furnishes no example of a priest-ridden people maintaining a free civil government.  This marks the lowest grade of ignorance, of which their political as well as religious leaders will always avail themselves for their own purpose."
~Thomas Jefferson 1813

PersephoneTopic starter

  • Turboslut
  • Legatus
  • *
  • Reputation Power: 33
  • Persephone makes good points.Persephone makes good points.Persephone makes good points.Persephone makes good points.Persephone makes good points.Persephone makes good points.Persephone makes good points.Persephone makes good points.Persephone makes good points.
  • Posts: 2626
  • Gender: Female
  • Location: New York
  • Awards: 100+ Reply Thread - The Death Penalty
  • Sex and Candy
Re: Personal...grooming
« Reply #13 on: January 05, 2009, 10:33:59 AM »

Nobody was talking about ASS HAIR. :rotf:
Logged
And I'll dance with you in Vienna, I'll be wearing a river's disguise. The hyacinth wild on my shoulder, my mouth on the dew of your thighs. And I'll bury my soul in a scrapbook, with the photographs there, and the moths and I'll yield to the flood of your beauty my cheap violin and my cross.

Deviouz1

  • Governor
  • *
  • Reputation Power: 16
  • Deviouz1 yearns for more subjective praise.Deviouz1 yearns for more subjective praise.Deviouz1 yearns for more subjective praise.Deviouz1 yearns for more subjective praise.Deviouz1 yearns for more subjective praise.
  • Posts: 643
  • Gender: Male
Re: Personal...grooming
« Reply #14 on: January 05, 2009, 11:06:46 AM »

Nobody was talking about ASS HAIR. :rotf:

just sayin. unlooked for consequences tend to appear when one decides to fiddle with such things. i mean, what happens if you decide to baby-face your cockness and your water heater breaks or someone kidnaps you or something and you cant get to a razor? i absolutely refuse to feel like a new york suburb decided to form a colony on my hairy bean bag.
Logged
"History, I believe, furnishes no example of a priest-ridden people maintaining a free civil government.  This marks the lowest grade of ignorance, of which their political as well as religious leaders will always avail themselves for their own purpose."
~Thomas Jefferson 1813

PersephoneTopic starter

  • Turboslut
  • Legatus
  • *
  • Reputation Power: 33
  • Persephone makes good points.Persephone makes good points.Persephone makes good points.Persephone makes good points.Persephone makes good points.Persephone makes good points.Persephone makes good points.Persephone makes good points.Persephone makes good points.
  • Posts: 2626
  • Gender: Female
  • Location: New York
  • Awards: 100+ Reply Thread - The Death Penalty
  • Sex and Candy
Re: Personal...grooming
« Reply #15 on: January 05, 2009, 11:10:14 AM »

Electric buzzers do the trick nicely. It doesn't have to be totally hair free, just, yannow, keep it under control.

I'm so happy the man in my life understands how inconsiderate it is to let things degenerate to the point where you feel like you're flossing.
Logged
And I'll dance with you in Vienna, I'll be wearing a river's disguise. The hyacinth wild on my shoulder, my mouth on the dew of your thighs. And I'll bury my soul in a scrapbook, with the photographs there, and the moths and I'll yield to the flood of your beauty my cheap violin and my cross.

Fipronila

  • Senatore
  • *
  • Reputation Power: 31
  • Fipronila makes good points.Fipronila makes good points.Fipronila makes good points.Fipronila makes good points.Fipronila makes good points.Fipronila makes good points.Fipronila makes good points.Fipronila makes good points.Fipronila makes good points.
  • Posts: 1940
  • Gender: Female
  • Location: Southern California
  • Fan of: your mom
  • Awards: 2012 Death Pool Winner
  • Your Mom
Re: Personal...grooming
« Reply #16 on: January 05, 2009, 05:40:33 PM »

I'm the complete opposite. I like my man to be what I find manly. Men have hair. As long as he is clean (which he always is yay!) I frickin love it. No idea why. It's the only thing I insist on. If he shaved or something I'd probably leave him. Stupid I know but if we aren't compatible in the sex dept or if he turns me off I gotta go. Super important in a relationship. Dude with noticably groomed nether regions strikes me as a little fem. I know it's not like that for most people, just me.
Logged

princess of pt

  • Senatore
  • *
  • Reputation Power: 0
  • princess of pt embraces anonimity and disabled reputation.
  • Posts: 1120
  • Awards: 100+ Reply Thread - Should congress
Re: Personal...grooming
« Reply #17 on: January 05, 2009, 09:21:26 PM »

Electric buzzers do the trick nicely. It doesn't have to be totally hair free, just, yannow, keep it under control.

I'm so happy the man in my life understands how inconsiderate it is to let things degenerate to the point where you feel like you're flossing.

ditto, groomed is cool with me for the most part. but either way isnt a deal breaker unless you look like snuffleupagus. for myself i prefer waxing it all. i kind of like the pain and have been doing it for years, it just doesnt look or feel right any other way.  :vc:
Logged

Fipronila

  • Senatore
  • *
  • Reputation Power: 31
  • Fipronila makes good points.Fipronila makes good points.Fipronila makes good points.Fipronila makes good points.Fipronila makes good points.Fipronila makes good points.Fipronila makes good points.Fipronila makes good points.Fipronila makes good points.
  • Posts: 1940
  • Gender: Female
  • Location: Southern California
  • Fan of: your mom
  • Awards: 2012 Death Pool Winner
  • Your Mom
Re: Personal...grooming
« Reply #18 on: January 05, 2009, 10:09:19 PM »

LOL oh yeah I groom myself daily if you know what I mean.

I really like him being all furry and shit. Rub my face all in it nom nom nom
Logged

princess of pt

  • Senatore
  • *
  • Reputation Power: 0
  • princess of pt embraces anonimity and disabled reputation.
  • Posts: 1120
  • Awards: 100+ Reply Thread - Should congress
Re: Personal...grooming
« Reply #19 on: January 06, 2009, 02:42:16 AM »

LOL oh yeah I groom myself daily if you know what I mean.

I really like him being all furry and shit. Rub my face all in it nom nom nom

you filthy animal!
 :rotf: :rotf: :rotf: :rotf: :rotf:
Logged
Pages: [1] 2 3  All   Go Up
 

Page created in 0.394 seconds with 43 queries.