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Author Topic: Women: Please read and take note.  (Read 1582 times)

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Cookie MonsterTopic starter

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Women: Please read and take note.
« on: January 28, 2009, 01:57:21 PM »

Women: Please read and take note."
I get fed up of women going on about their feelings and how I, or indeed men, don't understand them. Well I thought I'd do my bit to help you women out. Us men are less complex creatures.......

I cannot read minds.

Learn to use the toilet seat, I need it up, you need it down. Stop fucking going on at me, how hard is it??

Crying is Blackmail, stop it.

If tha wants summat, ask. Simple. Just so you know, Subtle hints don't work, Strong hints don't work. Hints in any strength do not work.

?Yes? or ?No? or ?Do I look like I give a fuck? are perfectly acceptable answers to most of your questions when out shopping..... and Peach is a fruit, not a colour.

Don't bother me with a problem if you don't want me to fix it. I'm a bloke, we fix things, if you want sympathy get a dog or ring a girlfriend.

If I said it more than a week ago, you cannot bring it up in an argument. Fact.

If you think your fat, you probably are, don't ask for the truth about how your arse looks and then start crying when I tell you the truth.

It's mine and I'll scratch if I want to?.and I'll wash it as fast as I like.

Don't ask me what I'm thinking. You won't like the answer, it's probably Cheryl Cole or Rugby or Both.

If I ask what is wrong and you say ?nothing?. End of story. I know there is something wrong, but in all honesty I don't really care.

I don't care which is fluffiest, kittens or rabbits.

You have enough cloths, You have too many shoes, You have too many handbags.

I do not need your advice on how to dress, I've done it for 30 years on my own. Sort your own shit out first, you look like Stevie Wonder dressed you.

If you try and make me sleep on the sofa, I couldn't care less, it's like camping and men like camping.

See, simple creatures us men.


funny virsion of an old rant i found. :rotf: :rotf:

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deBauch

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Re: Women: Please read and take note.
« Reply #1 on: January 29, 2009, 01:19:13 AM »

"Women are supposed to be loved not understood" - Oscar Wilde   :snack:
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Fipronila

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Re: Women: Please read and take note.
« Reply #2 on: January 30, 2009, 12:28:35 AM »

lol cute. Not ALL women are anti-men and do understand them. I promise!
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Cookie MonsterTopic starter

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Re: Women: Please read and take note.
« Reply #3 on: January 30, 2009, 05:01:01 AM »

well if you fancy men it helps if you like em to avoid mental illness, hetro men who hate women tend to end up as serial killers.

Love isn't a cure all but it helps sometimes.
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Veronica Sawyer

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Re: Women: Please read and take note.
« Reply #4 on: September 22, 2009, 08:57:10 AM »

"Women are supposed to be loved not understood" - Oscar Wilde   :snack:

I can not rep you enough.  <3
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Re: Women: Please read and take note.
« Reply #5 on: September 22, 2009, 03:55:05 PM »

I get fed up of men prattling on about how women have feelings.

Nobody told me it was compulsory to have them and so I signed up for gardening instead and got to play with slugs. Set me up for life that did.
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Veronica Sawyer

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Re: Women: Please read and take note.
« Reply #6 on: September 22, 2009, 08:11:25 PM »

You know what else? Men are not that simple at all. Most of my friends are male and they have the same feelings as women do. We are all people and that makes us emotional. If we didn't have feelings we'd be robots.

Also the reason women say "nothing" when you ask what's wrong is because society has made us feel as though we should be ashamed of our emotions, as if they are silly and don't matter. SO we lie, but can't pretend.

It's fucking stereotypes like this that make things so complicated.
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Fez

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Re: Women: Please read and take note.
« Reply #7 on: September 23, 2009, 02:09:54 AM »

"Women are supposed to be promiscuous, free spirited and always horny." - The Fezzman   :snack:


Fixed it for you.
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Re: Women: Please read and take note.
« Reply #8 on: September 23, 2009, 05:02:57 PM »

"Women are supposed to be loved not understood" - Oscar Wilde   :snack:

That worked out really well for Constance Wilde didn't it? I'm sure she was delighted to know how loved she was as she faced complete financial and social ruin and as Oscar fucked off abroad upon his release from Reading with his young man.

Frankly, understanding is looking pretty good.
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cardtrick

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Re: Women: Please read and take note.
« Reply #9 on: September 23, 2009, 05:17:12 PM »

Oscar is right. Women do not want to be understood. 

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deBauch

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Re: Women: Please read and take note.
« Reply #10 on: September 23, 2009, 07:05:04 PM »

Slag him off all you like love but he was still the dogs bollocks in The Persuaders  :wheelchair:



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Deviouz1

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Re: Women: Please read and take note.
« Reply #11 on: September 23, 2009, 09:33:25 PM »

Slag him off all you like love but he was still the dogs bollocks

O.o

is that a... good thing?
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deBauch

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Re: Women: Please read and take note.
« Reply #12 on: September 24, 2009, 12:48:08 AM »

...as much as the mutts nuts is  :wheelchair:
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Johnny Storm

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Re: Women: Please read and take note.
« Reply #13 on: September 26, 2009, 06:51:39 AM »

Love isn't a cure all but it helps sometimes.

You love the cock...so that's sure to cure your problem with women.

/take two asps and don't call me in the morning
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Re: Women: Please read and take note.
« Reply #14 on: October 08, 2009, 06:05:56 PM »

Oscar is right. Women do not want to be understood.

Not buying that.

It is a romantic ideal that seems to enforce riciculous measures.
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cardtrick

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Re: Women: Please read and take note.
« Reply #15 on: October 08, 2009, 06:21:44 PM »

Not buying that.

It is a romantic ideal that seems to enforce riciculous measures.

Of course women don't want to be understood. Once women are understood, they got nothing left in their bag of tricks, and they buy comfortable shoes and let their butt swell to the size of a catamaran.




 
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Fipronila

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Re: Women: Please read and take note.
« Reply #16 on: October 08, 2009, 11:31:46 PM »

Right now my feet are fucked from mini golfing and stand all day at trade shows in fucking heels. I love comfortable shoes right now. Fuck men!

Ok so I really want to wear cute fucking shoes and can't. God damn being a chick! Damn it right to fucking hell!
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Re: Women: Please read and take note.
« Reply #17 on: October 11, 2009, 09:52:51 PM »

Of course women don't want to be understood. Once women are understood, they got nothing left in their bag of tricks, and they buy comfortable shoes and let their butt swell to the size of a catamaran.


I understand women perfectly....



:penis:

/capiche?
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Re: Women: Please read and take note.
« Reply #18 on: October 12, 2009, 09:52:42 AM »

Of course women don't want to be understood. Once women are understood, they got nothing left in their bag of tricks, and they buy comfortable shoes and let their butt swell to the size of a catamaran.

I don't have a problem with that if the alternative is being misunderstood, getting blisters and eating a lot of salad.
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Re: Women: Please read and take note.
« Reply #19 on: October 12, 2009, 01:56:47 PM »

is that a... good thing?

Don't be silly Dev, this is Unco we're talking about here. She's been telling us she's a moose for years but i'm willing to bet that the majority of us would trade a digit for a nostril full of her knicker laundry  :grin:












 It's a bloke thing, we can't help it   :wank:





































Genetics ya know  :snack:
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