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Blandscape vs BEnzo (MATCH THREAD) <DECISION>
« on: November 27, 2016, 01:45:13 PM »





This is a three day event

Starts at 12:01 AM EST November 28th

Ends at 11:59 PM EST November 30th
.
Run-ins allowed, but flames must be directed at the contestants.

At least three posts over the three days, but not configured to a single day.

No shitty google driven memes.

Any pics used must be spoilered if not work safe.

Narrative style preferred.

If BEnzo wants to call Blandscape gay, it must be in a context worth reading.

Decision decided by TWAP and his mod minions after conclusion of match



Discussion thread for this match is:

http://thirdrailforum.com/index.php?topic=13851.0
Logged



Quote from: Cardtrick

I suspect that the three x-men between them couldn't handle even OBI in a match.
That would be interesting - Obi vs. Oranje, LoCo and Duke.

deadskinmask

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Blandscape vs BEnzo (MATCH THREAD) <DECISION>
« Reply #1 on: November 28, 2016, 09:16:43 PM »

'COME ONE. COME ALL. SEE THE GREASTEST SHOW ON EARTH' said the sign above the tent.... a shadow of a man called to skinz and said 'step inside and see it all'. skinz asked the fella 'whats in there?' and the man was overcome with excitement and said 'midgets burning, stomachs turning, ladies dancing, small dogs prancing, bugles blaring, haters glaring, bears on balls, shit on the walls. it would be easier to tell ya what you won't see.' skinz was excited as hell and said 'gimme a ticket, boss'.... skinz walked on in the darkened tent and propped up close to the stage. no idea when the show would start, he waited.... and waited.... and waited.... suddenly.. hours later.... the entire tent lit up like a roman candle.... 'OH BOY, THIS IS IT' thought skinz as the anticipation ran through his spine.... disappoint soon replaced anxiety as a lone man with a mop appeared. on his maintenance coveralls, he had BEnzo stiched in red thread.... skinz called to him 'HEY, WHAT THE FUCK?' and BEnzo replied 'shows over. go home.' skinz frowned and said 'i was told i could see midgets and bears and monkeys and all kinds of shit here.'.... the janitor said 'well.... you can.... when they show up this is where they are. but not today.' skinz said 'that sucks' and the janitor said 'how much was the ticket?' skinz said 'free. it was free.' and the janitor said 'look on the bright side, kid. you got your moneys worth' and continued to mop the unused floor.... :(
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Blandscape vs BEnzo (MATCH THREAD) <DECISION>
« Reply #2 on: November 29, 2016, 06:50:40 PM »

Genesis.

The Beginning of the End.


In the beginning of the end the Brain created the heaven help you, a flat earth, all of your worth and the brand-width that seems too shamelessly passover individualism.

Now, your worth was formless and empty, and darkness hung-over the surface of your sleepless nights, and a Spirit of ill-will hovered over the very depths of your shallow waters .

Brain said, “Let there be shite,” and there was indeed shite, copius pebble-dashing amounts of it.  Brain saw that the shite was good, and he separated the shite from your bewildred darkness. Brain called the shite “TRF,” and in that dark created by his pay-as-you-go meter running out of emergency credit, he called the darkness “Benzo", with the fanfare of a glorious angelic fart, the artistry of a blank and confused canvas, and the majesty of a magnolia painted Sistine Chapel.

The Brain saw all that he had made, and it was quite good, nearly really good, but not quite Flying Dutchman good.  There was evening, there was morning EST, there was pride and there was blame, there was huberis and intermittent connection speeds and 503 warnings, and there was the same accounting for accounts.

After admiring his work from arms length on the seventh day he took a long hot bath with an open razor - and did what he should have done when confronted by his bullied adolescence.

All of the haughty host servers of his melancholic machinations, could no longer contain or bitmap his boredom. Thus the glorious heavens sake of heavens gate and what an earth, were finished with The Brain.

But the Benzo had survived, and flourished in the kingdom-come of the one-fingered moron.
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Blandscape

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Blandscape vs BEnzo (MATCH THREAD) <DECISION>
« Reply #3 on: November 29, 2016, 07:41:11 PM »

The Robbing of Peter to Pay Paul.

As the light struggles to penetrate the dark, like the can opening attributes of a peado's cock in a toddlers arsehole, it becomes apparent that Benzo the Darkness is growing in the confidence of who cares - as he sucks the refraction from your little tight prisms of submissiveness.

Day must always submit to the black, as our experience surrenders to a one-lined swipe at a nigger gag. Having had three cocks acknowledge him before dawn on every thread herein, he denies that he no longer yearns for a one up, he demands it without ever really turning up.

Robbing Peter to pay Paul for his inadequecy really is a titwank farewell, to all of your shameless contributions.
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Blandscape vs BEnzo (MATCH THREAD) <DECISION>
« Reply #4 on: November 30, 2016, 12:17:59 AM »

Beginning to make ends meet,
Or,
Beginning to take meat to its end.

At the start, Blandscape was a knobdobber of the highest sort. As in, he highly needed his shit sorted out. Even the boys' looks weren't quite right. All at once old and fifty yet also femme and girly. Almost pretty. Soft. Suspect. Not legit.
Low-

It was said of him at the homosexual crimes unit in Edinburgh prison there was never a more proper twally-washer than Blandscape the clawbaw. Although, it was also related the boy was a little lazy. Slow in the head perhaps. A bit short.
Dumb-

The priest at Blandscapes grade school remembered him fondly when informed of his demise. A good boy the father remembered. He wasn't too bright but hell if he knew how to stroke the candles from beginning to end behind the altar!
Heavenly-
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Blandscape vs BEnzo (MATCH THREAD) <DECISION>
« Reply #5 on: November 30, 2016, 12:21:16 AM »

Paul penetrates Peter for not paying-

At the flophouse Blandscape wasn't remembered fondly. Straight to the pubs that one would go as soon as that monthly welfare check came reflected the matron, wasn't very sharing with the other lads either. Cheap. Take the last beer kind of guy.
Never a reach-around-

The Tartan Rainbow Pub had fond memories of Blandscape. Twink Twinkles was his pet name. A memorial in the bathroom was even placed over the indents on the floor where old men found his pot of gold. A bit expensive he was said the landlord, but worth it by all accounts.
No one rode Blandscape for free-

The soup kitchen had nothing good to say about Blandscape. Never helped not even once, remembered the salvation worker, he only helps himself to seconds then leaves for the pubs. He had the problem with the drink you see, so it's no surprise he ended up in a bad way. Tragic maybe. Sad even to some. But if you ask me, postulated the salvation worker,
He won't be missed-
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Blandscape vs BEnzo (MATCH THREAD) <DECISION>
« Reply #6 on: November 30, 2016, 09:59:22 AM »

"Wifey longs for the Glandscrape schmear"

Ring Ring Ring!

Cookie Monster (CM): 'Ello?
Blandscape (BS): 'Ay missus, Cookie in?, 'ay??
CM: It's me Bland. You been at the drink again?
BS: 'Ay Ma, been nippin again, ay. Cookie there, ay?
CM: It's me you silly bloke stroker! It's Cookie ya daft wanker!
BS: 'Ay, 'tis it is, ay. You sound like me Ma, ay. I have a pain in my ass, my Cookie Ma!
It yearns, ay, it yearns for you Ma! Ay, Ma, what will we do? I need my GOOD WIFE!
CM: You still have dole money left this month? I know you're blowin' the proprietor for glasses of the black stuff during the day, so you should have a few quid up the 'jobby purse'. Take the Bus and cum to me my twinky skinny man!
BS: Ay Cookie Ma. I'm cumming home. My gland needs the scraping it does. The Turnips in me pasties have built up, ay.
CM: You've been eating Swedes? My favorite!! Don't worry my snugly Bland boy! I'll pay for the Bus, you just get yourself to the station. Don't shower and don't eat a thing. Get a few nips of Scotch for the ride. Fast Bland fast! We have to get that swede scrape while its fresh!
BS: Ay Ma, I'll be on me way.
CM: Stop calling me Ma! Pick up some more swedes and eggs before you cum here too, ya lazy tart! I will bake some fresh scones to spread that Glandscrape schmear on as soon as I remove it. Hurry!
BS: Ay Cookie. On my way, ay. Bye, ay.
*clunk*

BS: {Got that Bitch to pick up the bus ticket, ay!}
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BEnzo

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Blandscape vs BEnzo (MATCH THREAD) <DECISION>
« Reply #7 on: November 30, 2016, 10:11:30 AM »





This is a three day event

Starts at 12:01 AM EST November 28th

Ends at 11:59 PM EST November 30th
.
Run-ins allowed, but flames must be directed at the contestants.

At least three posts over the three days, but not configured to a single day.

No shitty google driven memes.

Any pics used must be spoilered if not work safe.

Narrative style preferred.

If BEnzo wants to call Blandscape gay, it must be in a context worth reading.

Decision decided by TWAP and his mod minions after conclusion of match



Discussion thread for this match is:

http://thirdrailforum.com/index.php?topic=13851.0


So did this fucker get me on the three posts in a day technicality?
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Blandscape

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Blandscape vs BEnzo (MATCH THREAD) <DECISION>
« Reply #8 on: November 30, 2016, 06:34:05 PM »

The Book of E-Lie.

As the Benzo wanders across the arrid expanse of his talent he senses a Jews security in numbers, during every one of his failed forum heimlich maneuvers on the outskirts of his stripey jim-jammed camp concentration. After all he is the chosen people.

He chokes on the joke that dare not speak his name. That even here, getting what he wants never gives him what we need.

The Benzo represents the misguided smiley face painters who believe they have a future here, while nearly all of them have only a shoddy and shameless past, a bad credit score, a selfie they could never hope to post and a BBQued lucidity only 50,000 jolts on a third rail could crispily supply. The lies they tell themselves are the very reason they are here, without ever once actually being here.

Benzo represents the very best of that.

So it is true, he does in his own reprehensible defence contribute to the nothing he measures us all by. My sincerest congratualations can only be implied. Reading and teetering on the very edge of what he never offers, offers us all a glimpse at the lies that cultivate our demise.

Ask not what TRF can do for you, ask why the fuck you are here and why Benzo masks the stench of your ignored and fetid yet seemingly personable vitriol.
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Blandscape vs BEnzo (MATCH THREAD) <DECISION>
« Reply #9 on: November 30, 2016, 06:37:07 PM »

The Book of Revelations.



We have none, that is us at your best.

We are conquest, slaughter, dearth and death.

Benzo is a cough mixuture administered for your chronic tuberculosis. He represents our true narrative. Swell with pride as the fluid expands in your lungs and gratefully implodes.
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BEnzo

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Blandscape vs BEnzo (MATCH THREAD) <DECISION>
« Reply #10 on: November 30, 2016, 11:18:58 PM »

The Book of E-Lie.

As the Benzo wanders across the arrid expanse of his talent he senses a Jews security in numbers, during every one of his failed forum heimlich maneuvers on the outskirts of his stripey jim-jammed camp concentration. After all he is the chosen people.

Stick with attacking me and leave the Jews alone.

Quote
He chokes on the joke that dare not speak his name. That even here, getting what he wants never gives him what we need.

You choke befo' you write the joke 'ya mumblin' bumbler-

Quote
The Benzo represents the misguided smiley face painters who believe they have a future here, while nearly all of them have only a shoddy and shameless past, a bad credit score, a selfie they could never hope to post and a BBQued lucidity only 50,000 jolts on a third rail could crispily supply. The lies they tell themselves are the very reason they are here, without ever once actually being here.

Where is that selfie Bland? It's a good selfie. I never said it was bad. Post that shit up. You primmed for that glamour shot throughout your FORUM COCKSUCKER days, posted it proudly briefly, then 'ole BEnzo made you drop it. So post it or shut the fuck up about it. You don't even know if someone grabbed it. I might have it. You should have bolted when you had the chance, ya Rocket!

(Rocket: Scottish slang for a total shitehawk you want to see the back of running away)

Quote
Benz represents the very best of that.

So it is true, he does in his own reprehensible defence contribute to the nothing he measures us all by. My sincerest congratualations can only be implied. Reading and teetering on the very edge of what he never offers, offers us all a glimpse at the lies that cultivate our demise.

Ask not what TRF can do for you, ask why the fuck you are here and why Benzo masks the stench of your ignored and fetid yet seemingly personable vitriol.

Who's this wank sock flaming anyway?

Me or you??
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BEnzo

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Blandscape vs BEnzo (MATCH THREAD) <DECISION>
« Reply #11 on: November 30, 2016, 11:25:37 PM »

The Book of Revelations.



We have none, that is us at your best.

We are conquest, slaughter, dearth and death.

Benzo is a cough mixuture administered for your chronic tuberculosis. He represents our true narrative. Swell with pride as the fluid expands in your lungs and gratefully implodes.

Those last three lines were good.

I don't get it, but I read it like three times and I got nuthin' to post-
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The Wise and PowerfulTopic starter

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Blandscape vs BEnzo (MATCH THREAD) <DECISION>
« Reply #12 on: December 05, 2016, 08:16:53 AM »

Mods Scoundrel and xoFateox did not respond to the call to render a judgement, nor did The BRA1N.



Blands opening with a parody of Genesis was amusing. Just. It lacked focus on what should have been its intended target; BEnzo. Infact after that post we never hear from Blandscape again. :grin:

BEnzo - his first entry at #4 was funny. An interesting, more different approach and the message was clear.

            Post #5 followed much the same approach and was a good response to Blands ''Robbing of Peter to   Pay Paul.'' Post of the match, Imho.

            Post #6 no more than a big Fuck You to Cookie Monster and I approve.


Winner: BEnzo





Frankly I was disappointed with this match - where were the run-ins???

Where was the hard hitting, scathing missives that Blandscape was once known for??

BEnzo was mild and meek in his posts, but they did hold some interest. He did stand up to the run in dropped from deadskinmask. Unfortunately, it was done in the Discussion thread.

For that matter, some of the best flaming was in the discussion thread...

Blandscape posts best when he's drunk, and not when trying to impress FoxMulder.

I rate this match as a tossup.

Winner:Neither



Voting:

TWAP - votes TIE

Vixen votes for BEnzo

The winner is declared to be:

                BEnzo



Further discussion for this match is at:

http://thirdrailforum.com/index.php?topic=13851.0
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Quote from: Cardtrick

I suspect that the three x-men between them couldn't handle even OBI in a match.
That would be interesting - Obi vs. Oranje, LoCo and Duke.
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