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Author Topic: SirSuperSouthern vs Brent <MATCH THREAD> <DECISION>  (Read 540 times)

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The Wise and PowerfulTopic starter

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SirSuperSouthern vs Brent <MATCH THREAD> <DECISION>
« on: June 01, 2017, 06:53:17 PM »

Three Day Callout Match

SirSuperSouthern vs Brent






Begins Friday, June 2nd at 12:01 AM ET

Ends Sunday, June 4th at 11:59 PM ET

Unlimited posts.

NO RUN INS

Match to be judged by Vixen, cw, and feral




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Quote from: Cardtrick

I suspect that the three x-men between them couldn't handle even OBI in a match.
That would be interesting - Obi vs. Oranje, LoCo and Duke.

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SirSuperSouthern vs Brent <MATCH THREAD> <DECISION>
« Reply #1 on: June 01, 2017, 10:54:48 PM »

RE: The No Run In stip:

First instance of a run-in = warning. (watched)

If you do it again, your warning level can be raised and you may be placed on moderated post status, depending on the severity (example, 3 run-in posts in a row after warning) for the duration of the match.

Said warnings should not be taken lightly.
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Quote from: Cardtrick

I suspect that the three x-men between them couldn't handle even OBI in a match.
That would be interesting - Obi vs. Oranje, LoCo and Duke.

Brent

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SirSuperSouthern vs Brent <MATCH THREAD> <DECISION>
« Reply #2 on: June 02, 2017, 11:33:21 AM »

'Sup peeps.

So everybody knows you can't spoil a show that's already been seen, and that's especially true when it comes to an SSS presentation. But if you've never bothered tuning in and then immediately resorted to breaking your tv screen with the nearest blunt object at its conclusion to absolutely ensure with one hundred percent certainty another episode will never EVER air in your presence again, here's what you're not missing.

Opening scene:

A rickety wooden rowboat with the words  "SSS minnow" spray painted on the side beaches itself on the shores of hostile land, promptly splintering into a million pieces from the impact of a northern 5mph ocean breeze. It's soft as apple sauce crusader washes up with it.

Scene: Defending forces murder the fucking shit out of him one and three thirds a second later.

Roll credits.

*NA springs to his feet and gives it a ten minute standing ovation. The rest of the audience goes mild.*

But srsly. You know what's gonna happen. Dude is gonna come charging in here like some kinda confused PTSD savaged super hero busting up a perfectly good time between a surprised group of friends gathered together for a fun Friday rager, whipping out a ten page dissertation from his utility belt and reading out loud a street corner prophet type of rant packed with rambling thoughts on God, guns, his camouflage G string and the kind of random pseudo intellectual bullshit some smart ass college doofus might throw at his philosophy professor during an open floor discussion.

This is how it ends for our gallant, brave symbol of "nope".



SSS, you're a warm up.

For flea - how humbling is that reality?



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SirSuperSouthern vs Brent <MATCH THREAD> <DECISION>
« Reply #3 on: June 02, 2017, 01:20:24 PM »

Hey there piggy, our audience will be awed when they hear you manage to scream out of your nose after I cram an organic apple in your mouth and start up the oven. But who knows? A neighbor may call the cops because they heard a Jewish woman screaming like she was arguing the price of kreplach.

It's 2017 now, and all you know what to do is shit gay jokes so regurgitated it'll take us back to 2004 when you got called a faggot, felt so goddamn hurt over it that it took you awhile to pull yourself together and huff and puff your way back to FH with your new nic - Brentv2.

The bad news? Your software caught a few viruses like you've done over the years by twisting the handles of public bathrooms *after* you'd washed your hands, retard. So now you're back as plain-game Brent, the shy pussy who has had bigger tits than Jane since you were the kid to pick on in elementary school.

You took up smoking cigarettes (as pictured) and drinking black coffee so any time somebody approached you, you'd just blow two full lungs "hhhhhhhhhaaaaahhhhhhhhh" near their faces which wobbled 'em and sent them gasping in another direction. Good thinkin'.

Your puffy gums became darker than your half-dollar sized nipples because oral hygiene cramped your D. I'll now tell you about my dark ritual to curse people or fantasy football teams. What you do is print out a picture of the person or team. Then you zealously floss like the masochistic dentist in Little Shop of Horrors does his patients. And with your swollen, sensitive, unhealthy gums? Shit, you could begin the process like a champ by spitting a whole lotta blood anywhere on your print.

You then light a corner on fire with one of your no name brand cigarettes, wearing an evil smile illuminated by the pretty flames. Watch them buuuuuurn before pissing the page out by squatting over it like you piss in your efficiency's toilet. Hey, it's more efficient than trying to get every drop in a large bowl and keep your goddamn pubes off the rim when you stand up. Eventually guys even need to assume the position, scrubbing the back of the filthy, dry piss caked toilet's feet.

I sit when I piss for the reasons above and began that when I had a really kinky slut gimme a blumpkin. Bitch crossed it off her list before she insisted I widen her asshole and blow smoke up it. My weed smelled really good. No lie, so I'll stop here because I don't usually talk behind people's backs. Honest.

I'll give you the time that autistic kids are allotted to finish a test before I get back to explaining life to you because you have no idea what it's actually like out there until your kind start eating uncooked tofu atop their bland, wilting green salads...


SSS
- nutritionist

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It isn't happening, short of a face to face meet. If sss has the balls, I invite an intermediary to PM his number and we can set this up. Otherwise you are permanently removed from my radar.

SirSuperSouthern

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SirSuperSouthern vs Brent <MATCH THREAD> <DECISION>
« Reply #4 on: June 02, 2017, 03:44:22 PM »

I gotta go wash my hands before touching my keyboard again because I just shit all over your generic ass, Brent. God knows what your keys look like. While I'm away, go ahead and press the play button.




Whitey really can dance, eh?

Well I just read the pointless post you wrote containing nothing of any substance, except mentioning me in college like it was some kinda insult? Oh my, you just admitted verbatim that you dropped out of high school without meaning to. It's OK, we all believe you there; no reason to harp over the reasons causing you to do so.

Anyway I've timed almost everything in my life like one of my nuts was made outta crystal! That's right, I was in the Army when Bill Clinton was serving as our commander-in-Chief. *stretch* Life is all about timing, ain't it? Right place right time, etc. I was Honorably discharged months away from being sent on a sunny vacation to a place that genuinely bans alcohol and cleavage. No thanks.

Then I juiced Uncle Bush into coughing up 25k for college containing a p-l-e-t-h-o-r-a of hot young cock warmers who couldn't get into UT. I've had it good because I've made it that way:


Ain't I good? Ain't you ain't? (don't answer the obvious) It's cliche, of course, but life is literally what you make it. Ask Jesus without frowning.

You know, the belief that you go to Heaven for eternity when you die is about as accurate as your Great Hope that you'll finally get to fuck a virgin high up in the sky. 49 ugly bitches, to be exact - you just can't even grow a beard so they may all decide to high-side on your weak ass and happily endure an eternity of naughty leather spankings instead.

Me trapped in Heaven? *ring ring* "Mr Holy Ghost, my goddamn cloud is too soft, we men like them tighter, ya know what I mean?" *wink wink* And continue to be as annoying as Attention Whore was at BH. Forever.

You? I'm in your corner, guy, whooping louder than the niggers did at Arsenio Hall's old show. Your entire life has been a poorly rolled joint that nobody wants to hit. Dayum. Many people have hit you anyway, Brent, but it's never a good idea to hit a lowly drop out in his solid head...





SSS
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Brent

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SirSuperSouthern vs Brent <MATCH THREAD> <DECISION>
« Reply #5 on: June 02, 2017, 03:58:28 PM »

It's 2017 now

Which makes me wonder why you dedicated two paragraphs of words with the quality of a week old Wendy's double stack burger bitching about one solitary line of innuendo you claim is passe- then promptly stomp the gas pedal to the floorboard and race right into a wall of your own stupidity by including a fat joke. BEFORE you even tried the "same old stuff" angle to boot.

 :tard:

Should I even mention you've shamelessly stolen ATViles signature post finish he did for years?

Yeah, you're off to a great start, Tex. Heh.

Anyway, I couldn't help but wonder what topics you'll tackle next. Then I remembered I don't have to; you've spent the last ten years up to present day discussing exactly five things.

1. The size of your computer monitor (with pics).

2. Your service in the Army (with pics).

3. White supremacy and the merits of their various identifying tattoos (with pics).

4. Participating in the final callout with Poofer at Brawl Hall, and taking the dubya. (Interestingly, no pics).

5. Bragging about sabotaging a message board fantasy football league by reducing the number of players involved. Um, awesome? I guess?

But let's put the past behind us. Life is about moving forward, even if in this case that just means me hurling you popped collar first through the nearest coffee table and stomping your head so hard people will mistake my shoe imprints as a face tattoo gone horribly wrong for the next couple months.

Good to see you though. For a while you were next up in the flame town deadpool, with twenty to one odds your drug mule contract with Los Zetas would inevitably take a perilous turn when you took your old meth habit back like an ex you just couldn't quite let go of and ended up being decapitated on a video at liveleak. Personally, I'm staying all in.

As for everything else in your post, which expectedly unraveled into such a clusterfuck of a disgraceful mess you'd have thought Trump was contracting out his WH strategists for a little side action... awful. Unintelligible. The sort of epiphany someone might have mid way into a seventy five hour LSD delirium.

Step it up, or step off.










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SirSuperSouthern

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SirSuperSouthern vs Brent <MATCH THREAD> <DECISION>
« Reply #6 on: June 02, 2017, 08:20:16 PM »

How is Toby, Brent; your shit-thinning tapeworm? You no longer meet the criteria of NA's backseat bitch, but you no longer have to buy new shoes every couple months because looking back, your feet would undoubtedly smoosh one side flat making you walk and look like an unhappy pregnant woman with unsealable hemorrhoids the size of your future kidney stones.

I like making people laugh. I'm so unpredictable that people know that I'll predictably do whatever it takes to make ugly women snort out Diet Coke to making a super happy dog unselfishly offer anyone his lipstick as long as Brent isn't around.

I can do the exact opposite too, become the wet towel of any group that isn't paying their full attention to me. Hah, you weren't expecting me to follow up on that second sentence, were you? Here goes:

I've got so much moxie I can cut any large group of happy shit kickers into a painful silence, like Brent does every time he coincidentally walks by a group of chatting ladies.

Are you slightly frowning, wondering how the fuck I can do that to a group of manly Texans with power-mullets and visible weapons? It goes like this: at almost every BBQ joint, there are groups of men not talking about BBQing meat they just bought from HEB, they're talking about meat they "bought" with the cost of one bullet into the cost of the box plus tax. Faggots.

Then again, I'm a certifiable nutcase who loves dangerous situations (stories for another day), and I felt like inspiring one that day at the BBQ-hole. *slowly walk up to the huge table of men sucking bones* when one to six are talking about killing deer with mouthfuls of death.

"Lemme get this straight," using my exceptionally deep loud voice when necessary. "You men paid for certificates that gives you the right to kill defenseless animals, right?" The heads at the table all turn to look my way (mission accomplished for unneeded attention, goodie!). No responses. "Well then, you gentlemen failed to be paid to hunt armed animals, ya backwards Brent-like bastards (loudly for the whole place's attention). *Thanks for the tip, Tupac: All Eyez on Me.*

In short, like Brent, taking huge chances outta nowhere makes a shitty day phenomenal! The adrenaline, the great x10 feeling; I almost wanna say I hunt hunters, but that would be an unnecessary exaggeration like Brent is sadly known for. If Brent's evil goal to induce multiple exhausting eye rolls, he's finally doing something he intended quite well...


SSS
- laundry!

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SirSuperSouthern

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SirSuperSouthern vs Brent <MATCH THREAD> <DECISION>
« Reply #7 on: June 03, 2017, 10:45:42 AM »

She emerged from the steamy bathroom dry everywhere but her two hairy spots; one toweled, the other lookin' like she sprayed it with some Soul Glow *bling*

She slowly laid down on the carpet right by my feet, but the lovely dame inspired me to flip the well written script. Getting surprised reactions of all kinds from people is what keeps me getting outta bed.

I silently double-waved her to scoot back away (that's what miffing away twice means.) We began with her laying down at my feet, so it was time to turn the table.

The old saying "I went down on her" is like a poker tell that informs the listening audience that the guy knows jack shit about making it last longer, better, never answer her calls again, etc.

So I go down on her - beginning with her feet. Perfectly curved and clean nails, so slowly sucking her big toe while making eye contact was a blood warming start.

After a bit, I start going up her just-shaved leg with my tongue and lips kissing to re-wet my tongue, keeping it smooth like the player I am.

Her knees where slowly raising so I could see and smell her tightly shaven Soul Glow soaked strip without even being able to see her face any more, nor would if I could.

It was at that point when I... what the fuck? Where am I? Who are you to walk in on us? Us? Shit, I'm all alone here now because Brent knows when to show the table his pussy by folding his decent hand without bothering to bluff because by this point in his miserable life he knew the guy would double his raise while holding the cut card and a goddamn Joker. Loser.

I won't be back for a bit. Like they say at 4, I'm gonna crap, fap, and nap. Ooh, and before I fall out, I'll try to pick up where I left off before my pathetic opponent needed an unnecessary mention like he was with his uncaring family on Thanksgiving. So Brent, thanks for giving me the silent treatment, you beat down clown...

SSS
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It isn't happening, short of a face to face meet. If sss has the balls, I invite an intermediary to PM his number and we can set this up. Otherwise you are permanently removed from my radar.

SirSuperSouthern

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SirSuperSouthern vs Brent <MATCH THREAD> <DECISION>
« Reply #8 on: June 03, 2017, 05:48:32 PM »

I know you always get that sickly feeling when you overhear folks joke about college graduates compared to those who either stopped their education after graduating high school or because all they could manage to achieve was a worthless GED, like you Brent.

So why has your slouch just become worse than it usually is over this weekend? Because your intelligent opponent has already figured out your coming transparent excuse for your sad effort in our match: "Imma, uuuuh, gonna save my best effort to try to win the Championship, fuck SSS."

Drop outs reveal their disappointing educational accomplishments to their equally stupid friends, then go onto add that tidbit to their resumes because you're always asked how far you went before job hunting, then your reflection in a mirror where your hatred for that loser staring at you needs to...

It's over, Brentover. You couldn't begin to fuck with me, then I fucked up your oncoming excuse to losing to both me and flea. "Th...the workload was...fuck this site! I announced another one of my numberless retirements and couldn't even follow through on my own word. Liiiiiiife!!!"

Do it...


SSS
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SirSuperSouthern

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SirSuperSouthern vs Brent <MATCH THREAD> <DECISION>
« Reply #9 on: June 04, 2017, 12:05:58 PM »

It's time we strolled down Memory Ln, Brent. I remember two things that you did that others didn't/couldn't do.

First goes all the way back to 2004. For whatever reason, cun`T mentioned his daughter was molested via fingers while her mother was in a bedroom doing drugs and sucking dicks.

The thread went cold as the posters there actually felt bad for him, so I went ahead and explained what kinds of things are under the fingernails of broke junkies. I mean, people wouldn't even want them to touch their fucking cloths, let alone put their fingers in their mouths.

In this particular case, the filthy junko tore Rowan's daughter's hymen. You know, torn hymen can bleed as much as head wounds, and the last thing you'd want to enter your body via open wounds would be filth, would be germs, etc. The little girl didn't even have any hydrogen peroxide to dump down her newly widened hole, that could easily fit the mouth of a bottle of that stuff.

Anyway, the crowd was just shocked and nauseated after what I put down in print. The cries and shrieks of my long, detailed post about it had the board throwing a fit that went all the way up to Doomsday who would not delete or move the post.

Brent, you were the first to tell me what a slimeball I was/am. That post proved you had some balls to shame genuinely horrible stuff. After your post, the rest fell down a straight line, one after another, to proclaim I was now a spotted underlie who needed to get the fuck out.

It was you, Brent, that started two lines: one that nobody should cross, and a long one full of trouble makers that all posted positive things after yours. Well, positive for the hush-hush topic, everyone at BH immediately hated me in my first few months.

I loved the scene I created and never stopped. You know, posting a pic of a dead child whose skin color was... dead; and a thick white worm was peeking out of one of the child's nostrils. I actually got banned from the site I got that from (consumptionjunction), and the reality of having to register to post made me sick.

Next, and this is another BIG one - you somehow got a panel over at F4$ and did the right thing by handing it over to HC. I anticipated you coming back home wringing your tightly clasped hands from side to side for pulling off a genuine duo of awesome things for brawl-hall. I was somewhat happy about the whole thing, it was practically perfect.

Your head should've been set on fire immediately - flaming wasn't the only way to get Regged. I guess they all thumbs downed you backstage due to your flaming inefficiently. But you could outflame more than one Reg, I can think of four off the top of my head.

Your moves were great, the group's uppity ruling was annoying. Really fucking annoying after successfully somehow nailing F4$ to a cross, and let HC stab its side with a spear.

Everyone back there hated me, yet I was given a key because of all the ribbons I accumulated on stuck posts, and even got one behind the curtains which I never saw anyone else do. I made no friends after I was "crowned." What's the fucking point?

Anyway Brent, the Flames would of course looked nice on your account, and combined with your best pal Bonesaw, you guys would look like a nice duo of Regs who had each other's backs.

Me? My stories are both authenticatedly irritating and illegal, I went "too far" many times but BH was the official Home of Internet Terrorism and Dooms wouldn't hit the wooden thingy with that other wooden thingy. As far as genuine terrorists, I fit the bill to the letter, on site and off providing liks to my damage (hi jewdozer, you still owe me big).

You're a pretty good guy, Brent - good luck...


SSS
- terrible

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SirSuperSouthern vs Brent <MATCH THREAD> <DECISION>
« Reply #10 on: June 05, 2017, 12:07:29 AM »

This match has ended.

The judges are Vixen, cw, and feral.

Please post your decisions in this thread no later than Tuesday night at 11:59 PM ET


All other banter and chit chat will be moved to the Discussion Thread:
Discussion Thread:

http://thirdrailforum.com/index.php?topic=15337.0
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Quote from: Cardtrick

I suspect that the three x-men between them couldn't handle even OBI in a match.
That would be interesting - Obi vs. Oranje, LoCo and Duke.

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SirSuperSouthern vs Brent <MATCH THREAD> <DECISION>
« Reply #11 on: June 05, 2017, 05:44:22 AM »


SSS - Clearly an individual who has a lot to say. Hence his rambling back to back posts. There was no particular story line from him per say, however he's an easy read, he's articulate, funny and interesting. Flip side being he's disgusting and perverse and quite frankly I didn't see the point in him mentioning some things that had nothing to do with flaming Brent and everything to do with taking cheap shots at another forum member.


Brent -   He was off and running in his intro, which was a cross between Gilligans Island meets The Terminator.  I felt this was an awesome start to a creative story line and wanted to see where it was going, unfortunately nothing became of it.

His second post and his last, was a whine fest about a fat lame, how SSS stole a "signature post finish"  and 5 dot points on SSS flame career which would only have made sense to someone who had been following SSS and his posts for the past decade.

Having said that, his intro and these last two paragraphs:

Quote
Good to see you though. For a while you were next up in the flame town deadpool, with twenty to one odds your drug mule contract with Los Zetas would inevitably take a perilous turn when you took your old meth habit back like an ex you just couldn't quite let go of and ended up being decapitated on a video at liveleak. Personally, I'm staying all in.

As for everything else in your post, which expectedly unraveled into such a clusterfuck of a disgraceful mess you'd have thought Trump was contracting out his WH strategists for a little side action... awful. Unintelligible. The sort of epiphany someone might have mid way into a seventy five hour LSD delirium.

....were the only things I personally felt were really good from Brent.

I felt he held back which was disappointing, had he continued more on his intro using the same humour and style as his last two posts I believe he could of won this.

My vote is for SSS based on him putting in more of an effort than his opponent and being a couple of notches above his opponent with funnier one liners.
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SirSuperSouthern vs Brent <MATCH THREAD> <DECISION>
« Reply #12 on: June 06, 2017, 12:00:36 PM »

This match was not indicative of what we know Brent to be capable of. He mentioned the passing of a family member in recent days and to be fair I'd expect him to prioritise such unforeseen circumstances.

SSS is a credible nutcase an eloquent one too. I like reading him. He contributed the most in the match.
Did anyone else read what he had to say about cun`T in his last post?  :grin:


Vote: SirSuperSouthern
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(European Commission president Jean Claude Juncker warned Britain not to expect an 'amicable divorce,' adding: 'It was not exactly a tight love affair anyway.')

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SirSuperSouthern vs Brent <MATCH THREAD> <DECISION>
« Reply #13 on: June 06, 2017, 12:30:15 PM »

Still waiting for cw's judgment, but as the vote so far is two for SSS, I'll just go ahead and declare SirSuperSouthern the winner of this callout event. cw can post her judgment below if she so chooses.

Congrats
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Quote from: Cardtrick

I suspect that the three x-men between them couldn't handle even OBI in a match.
That would be interesting - Obi vs. Oranje, LoCo and Duke.

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Re: SirSuperSouthern vs Brent <MATCH THREAD> <DECISION>
« Reply #14 on: June 06, 2017, 03:56:48 PM »

In this dick measuring contest, it was dickless vs this!

(click to show/hide)


Two points to Brent for presenting (2) - All the rest to SSS for creating and controlling the narrative, and for being an eloquent writer (8).  Brent got raped and then kissed.  Vote:  SSS
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Re: SirSuperSouthern vs Brent <MATCH THREAD> <DECISION>
« Reply #15 on: June 06, 2017, 05:07:09 PM »

With a final vote of three to zero, the winner of this match is declared to be:


SirSuperSouthern
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Quote from: Cardtrick

I suspect that the three x-men between them couldn't handle even OBI in a match.
That would be interesting - Obi vs. Oranje, LoCo and Duke.
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