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Author Topic: Teh funnay  (Read 11125 times)

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Your Mom's Lover

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Re: Teh funnay
« Reply #100 on: February 04, 2016, 03:38:34 AM »

This one is for Sinister.

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Re: Teh funnay
« Reply #101 on: June 05, 2016, 08:01:22 PM »



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Quote from: Cardtrick

I suspect that the three x-men between them couldn't handle even OBI in a match.
That would be interesting - Obi vs. Oranje, LoCo and Duke.

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Re: Teh funnay
« Reply #102 on: June 06, 2016, 06:31:11 PM »

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Re: Teh funnay
« Reply #103 on: June 07, 2016, 07:42:51 AM »

A young man with his pants hanging half off his rear, two gold front teeth, and a half inch thick gold chain around his neck, walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check.

He marched up to the counter and said, “Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I’d really rather have a job. I don’t like taking advantage of the system, getting something for nothing.”

The social worker behind the counter said:

“Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You’ll have to drive around in his 2014 Mercedes-Benz CL, and he will supply all of your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You’ll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips. This is rather awkward to say, but you will also have, as part of your job, the assignment to satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in her mid-20’s and has a rather strong sex drive.”

The guy, just plain wide-eyed, said, “You’re bull-shittin’ me!”

The social worker said, “Yeah, well… You started it…”
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Quote from: Cardtrick

I suspect that the three x-men between them couldn't handle even OBI in a match.
That would be interesting - Obi vs. Oranje, LoCo and Duke.

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Re: Teh funnay
« Reply #104 on: June 11, 2016, 08:18:23 PM »

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Re: Teh funnay
« Reply #105 on: June 12, 2016, 05:53:43 AM »

           
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Quote from: Cardtrick

I suspect that the three x-men between them couldn't handle even OBI in a match.
That would be interesting - Obi vs. Oranje, LoCo and Duke.

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Re: Teh funnay
« Reply #106 on: June 16, 2016, 08:13:15 PM »


 
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Re: Teh funnay
« Reply #107 on: June 20, 2016, 12:28:54 AM »

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Re: Teh funnay
« Reply #108 on: June 25, 2016, 12:33:38 AM »

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Quote from: Cardtrick

I suspect that the three x-men between them couldn't handle even OBI in a match.
That would be interesting - Obi vs. Oranje, LoCo and Duke.

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Re: Teh funnay
« Reply #109 on: June 25, 2016, 08:20:15 AM »

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Fuck you.

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Re: Teh funnay
« Reply #110 on: June 29, 2016, 07:50:52 PM »

This one is for Sinister.



Stop crashing my picnics!!   :gary:  :melon: :melon: :melon:
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Re: Teh funnay
« Reply #111 on: July 05, 2016, 05:12:34 PM »

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Re: Teh funnay
« Reply #112 on: July 09, 2016, 10:14:00 AM »

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Quote from: Cardtrick

I suspect that the three x-men between them couldn't handle even OBI in a match.
That would be interesting - Obi vs. Oranje, LoCo and Duke.

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Re: Teh funnay
« Reply #113 on: August 15, 2016, 11:08:56 PM »


The Deaf Wife Problem:

Bert feared his wife Peg wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem.

The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss. 

'Here's what you do,' said the Doctor, 'stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you.

If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.' 

That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was In the den. He says to himself, 'I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens.

Then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?' No response. 

So the husband moves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, 'Peg, what's for dinner? Still no response.

Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his Wife and asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?'  Again he gets no response.

So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. 'Honey, what's for dinner?'  Again there is no response.

So he walks right up behind her. 'Peg, what's for dinner?'

'For Christ sake, Bert, for the FIFTH time, CHICKEN!'
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Quote from: Cardtrick

I suspect that the three x-men between them couldn't handle even OBI in a match.
That would be interesting - Obi vs. Oranje, LoCo and Duke.

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Re: Teh funnay
« Reply #114 on: August 27, 2016, 08:05:24 AM »

Getting Older - Thoughts

1. My goal for 2016 was to lose just 10 pounds … only 15 more to go ...

2. Ate salad for dinner …Mostly  croutons & tomatoes ... Really just one big, round crouton covered with tomato sauce ... And  cheese... FINE, it was a pizza... I ate a pizza …

3. How to  prepare Tofu: 1.  Throw it in the trash. 2.  Grill some Meat.

4. I just did a week's worth of cardio after walking into a spider web...

5. I don't  mean to brag but… I finished all of my  14-day diet food in 3 hours and 20 minutes ...

6. A recent study has found women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it ...

7. Kids today don't know how easy they have it... when I was young, I had to  walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel...

8. Senility has been a smooth transition for me...

9. Remember back when we were kids and every time it was below zero out they closed  school?  Me neither!

10. I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented … I forgot where I was going with this ...

11. I love being over 70 … I learn something new every day … and forget 5 other things I used to know ...

12. A thief broke into my house last night … He started  searching for money … so I woke up and searched with him...…

13. I think I'll just put an "Out of Order" sticker on my forehead and call it a day ...

Just  remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed.
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Quote from: Cardtrick

I suspect that the three x-men between them couldn't handle even OBI in a match.
That would be interesting - Obi vs. Oranje, LoCo and Duke.

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Re: Teh funnay
« Reply #115 on: August 27, 2016, 10:21:39 AM »


4. I just did a week's worth of cardio after walking into a spider web...

6. A recent study has found women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it...

Facts. And not so funny when they happen-
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Re: Teh funnay
« Reply #116 on: August 27, 2016, 12:49:38 PM »

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  • Intensely envious of others and the belief that others are equally envious of them
  • Pompous and arrogant demeanor

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Re: Teh funnay
« Reply #117 on: August 27, 2016, 05:35:05 PM »



and rumor has it if you have anything on Hillary, then you get a free ride to heaven. lol

https://www.thebeaverton.com/world/item/2847-trump-accuses-clinton-of-being-angry-orange-skinned-man-with-bad-combover

on a serious note, the beaverton is a really good satire site.
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Re: Teh funnay
« Reply #118 on: September 21, 2016, 03:06:52 AM »

Donald Trump vs. Hillary Clinton

 
Donald and Hillary go into a bakery on the campaign trail.  As soon as they
enter the bakery, Hillary steals three pastries and puts them in her pocket.

She says to Donald, "See how clever I am?  The owner didn't see anything and
I don't even need to lie.  I will definitely win the election.

The Donald says to Hillary, "That's the typical dishonesty you have displayed
throughout your entire life, trickery and deceit.  I am going to show you an
honest way to get the same result."

Donald goes to the owner of the bakery and says,  "Give me a pastry and I
will show you a magic trick.

Intrigued, the owner accepts and gives him a pastry.

Trump swallows it & asks for another.  The owner gives him another one.  Then
Donald asks for a third pastry and eats that one too.

The owner is starting to wonder where the magic trick is and asks, “What
did you do with the pastries?"

Trump replies, "Look in Hillary's pocket."
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Quote from: Cardtrick

I suspect that the three x-men between them couldn't handle even OBI in a match.
That would be interesting - Obi vs. Oranje, LoCo and Duke.

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Re: Teh funnay
« Reply #119 on: September 21, 2016, 12:30:03 PM »

 :rotf:
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